


the stages of love

by cowoby



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Break Up, Pre-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:20:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23022370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowoby/pseuds/cowoby
Summary: how does love fall apartakasome seho angst for the drought
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	the stages of love

❀

his friends told him that eventually things would get better, and he now knew that it took him far too long to realise that those words were all lies.

❀

junmyeon sat with sehun’s head laid his on his lap, the other sighing at the feeling of the other’s fingers carding softly through his black hair. the older looked down at his boyfriend, and smiled.

“i love you,” he whispered to the younger, smiling softly as the other beamed up at him at the words.

“i love you too.”

“more than anything?” junmyeon asked teasingly.

“more than anything,” sehun responder, smile seeming slightly too serious to just be a joke.

❀

junmyeon should have know that something was wrong when he opened the door, blurry eyed from the sleep in his eyes and saw sehun standing weakly on his front porch at three in the morning. he was sure he saw red rimmed eyes on the other, but ushered him inside of his house, quickly shutting the door softly behind him.

“what’s wrong, babe?” he asked sehun quickly, worry evident on his face.

in lieu of answering, the younger threw himself into the older’s body, tears soaking into his yellow and blue pyjama shirt. junmyeon carded his fingers through the other’s hair softly and carefully. junmyeon stood there, holding his boyfriend in his arms while he cried, and murmuring soft words of comfort, hoping that he was helping somehow.

❀

they hadn’t talked about that night because everytime the older would attempt to bring it up, sehun shut the conversation down as soon as it started.

especially the day after they both woke up in the brunet’s bed after he had led the other there when the tears had finally stopped.

“what happened last night?” the older whispered into the other’s chest. he tried to ignore the sudden tense of his boyfriend’s body, and sighed deeply.

“nothing, it’s not important,” the other whispered carelessly, even making a show of waving his hand to dismiss the question.

“i doubt it was nothing, but we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” junmyeon murmured softly, words muffled by his boyfriend’s chest.

“then we won’t,” sehun replied sharply, clearly ending the conversation there.

“what?” junmyeon gaped, surprised at the tone of his boyfriend’s words causing him to sit up, the sheets pooling at his waist.

“i don’t want to talk about it, obviously.”

junmyeon tried to ignore the eye roll from the other, and instead pulled the covers away from his clothed body.

“i’ll make breakfast,” the older said, trying to distract himself from the annoyed look on the younger’s face. he scrambled to get up and was almost out of the bedroom door when sehun called for him.

“don’t bother making any for me, i’m leaving now,” the younger said as he walked past the other and into the living room where he started pulling his shoes on, junmyeon following close behind.

“what?” junmyeon questioned at his boyfriend's odd behaviour. it wasn’t unlikely that sehun would always stay for breakfast before they went on with their days, no matter how much of it involved the other.

“god, is that all you say these days?” the black haired boy muttered lowly, probably unknowing that the other heard him.

junmyeon cast his eyes downward at the floor at the words, but looked up at the jingling of keys that were most likely sehun’s.

“wha-” he stopped himself, remembering the other’s words from a few seconds ago. he sighed. “nevermind. okay, i guess,” he stuttered, trying to ignore the pain in his heart. “i’ll see you around?”

“yeah, see you.”

“bye,” he tried to finish hopefully, but the door had already been closed.

❀

“my hands are cold,” junmyeon huffed, pouting at the other. his boyfriend chuckled at the childish behaviour and pulled the boy’s hand out from his thin pockets and laced them together.

“there,” the boy said. “now your hands won't freeze off,” he finished, giving the other’s fingers a quick kiss before bringing their hands to his pocket.

the older blushed and looked away from where he had been staring at where their hands had been laced together.

“i love you,” the older whispered, turning to the younger, blushing.

“i love you more,” the taller whispered back as he leaned in to kiss his boyfriend.

“not possible,” junmyeon pouted.

“yes possible.”

❀

junmyeon sighed at the dread in his chest at what just happened.

sehun left him.

sehun really left. he’s gone. he’s no longer here. he didn’t love him anymore.

no matter how many times and different ways he tried to say it, it didn't make it any more believable. his brain only kept supplying excuses that did nothing but make his heart hurt more.

“there’s no way that sehun’s really gone. he must of just been joking.” that one wasn’t even believable. “he’s gotta come back, i mean, he loves me.” he turned to stare at the picture of them on their first anniversary. “right?

it seemed like all of the walls were closing in, and the ringing in his ears didn’t make it any better before his vision went black and he felt his body hit the cold floor.

❀

{ baby <3 }  
hey, can we meet at your house later today?  
i need to talk to you.

junmyeon frowned at the two messages that he got. he quickly tilted his head to the side and back in confusion while typing out a reply.

{ me }  
yeah!!  
is everything alright?

there was no reply.

❀

a few hours later, sehun knocked at junmyeon's door, and the older opened the door to see his boyfriend.

he showed sehun a small smile, and he returned one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“why didn’t you just use your key? you know that’s why i gave it to you right? because i’m too lazy to walk to the door.” the brunet questioned in confusion.

“oh, right… about the key,” sehun started, fishing the said item from his coat pocket. “i think i should give it back to you junmyeon.”

junmyeon froze.

“wait, what?” he breathed out, looking up at the younger. “why?” he pressed.

“why?” the taller repeated. “because i think we should break up.”

junmyeon never knew his world could come crashing down in the span of two seconds.

❀

“ah, junmyeonnie, i love you so much,” sehun whispered into the older’s face, nuzzling his nose with the others.

junmyeon giggled at the words and action, weakly pushing sehun away to speak. “and i love you more, sehun-ah,” he whispered back, gently leaning in to meet his boyfriend’s lips in a slow, love-filled kiss.

❀

“sehun! stop!” junmyeon yelled across the kitchen counter at his boyfriend.

“stop what, junmyeon-ah? didn’t you say i don’t show you enough affection anymore? that i don't even, ‘say your name anymore’?” sehun pressed, using a harsh mocking tone to imitate the older. “is that it, junmyeon-ah? is that why you keep asking about that night three months ago?” he yelled harshly. “do you think i cheated on you? is that it? is that why we can’t go one fucking day without you bringing it up?”

sehun stepped closer, and junmyeon took four steps back for every step sehun took.

“sehun,” junmyeon breathed. “just leave it, please,” he whimpered. he knew that the younger would never hurt him physically no matter how angry he was, but when sehun was mad, he spewed out some pretty hurtful words, and junmyeon was never on the receiving end of them.

until the past three months, it seemed.

“oh, so now, you wanna ‘just leave it’?” the taller drawled at, piercing his hard stare at his boyfriend. the four inch height difference the two shared had never failed to make the butterflies in junmyeon’s stomach flutter, but as he was standing under the heavy gaze of the man he had come to love, it only made him feel worse. but eventually, junmyeon nodded, though his mind was screaming at him not to, and silently breathed out the word, “yes.”

“fine,” sehun spat, turning around swiftly and grabbing his coat to pull on, before rushing out of junmyeon's apartment.

❀

when those seven words came out sehun’s mouth, junmyeon had to admit, he believed he was joking for a second.

that is, until he looked up at the others face and saw the seriousness in his eyes and realized that sehun would never play a joke like that.

“w-why?” the older pushed out, trying his hardest to keep his tears from spilling out of his eyes. that was unfair to his (ex)boyfriend, to manipulate him into guilt and send him off with the last image he had of him was him sobbing.

“junmyeon, i know you’ve noticed how rocky these past few months have been.”

“well, yeah, of course i did, but i’d hoped we’d get past it. i had faith in you- had faith in us,” the shorter defended.

“i’m sorry, junmyeon-ah. i’m sorry for all of the pain i caused you in these past few months together.” sehun spoke so softly and gently that he was sure that he could just close his eyes and imagine that the younger was just talking him to sleep as they lied in whoever’s chosen bed for the night.

but then he opened his eyes, and saw sehun staring down at him in worry, and he felt dread pool in his gut.

“j-just… just stay with me for one more night, and i can let you go,” junmyeon whispered as he smiled weakly. a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and he tried not to cry at the familiarity.

❀

they did what junmyeon wished he could say was make love that night, but it was really just a goodbye that ended their own.

junmyeon tried not to cry at the sight of sehun leaving once and for all in the morning after having breakfast with junmyeon, and the older left a soft goodbye kiss on his lips, followed by many more passionate kisses. those were the ones where junmyeon allowed himself to believe that everything was alright as sehun pushed him up against the door and kissed him senseless until the taller pulled away with a soft, sorry smile.

it just felt like a normal day that sehun had to leave for work as junmyeon sent sehun off with a bright smile, but once the other was out of the house, he felt the tears drip down his face as he threw the house keys sitting mockingly on the counter at the kitchen wall.

❀

he should have seen it, really. the way that sehun’s touches were slowly getting shorter, and lighter, the way that he would go through lengths to spend as little as possible time with junmyeon, the way that he’d try to sleep as far away from the other on the bed when they were sleeping together, and most importantly, in the way that sehun’s eyes never held that light and love when looking at junmyeon anymore.

he should have seen it. but he didn’t.

he let himself be blinded by one-sided love, broken promises, and false hope, just so he could sit there and believe that nothing was wrong.

but things were wrong, and there was nothing to blind himself to that fact now. all junmyeon could do was find a way to numb the pain. the fact that it hurts- that everything hurts.

but there was no way to pretend that there weren’t tears rolling down his cheeks, snot around his nose and mouth area, his hair mussed up in all directions from pulling it way to hard. there was no way to ignore that, no way to hide from himself.

but sitting there, in that devastating moment, he wished that he didn’t blind himself while sehun was slipping away because he could have pulled him back in before he got to far out. the what ifs ran through his mind, telling him the things he could’ve(- but didn’t,) do.

and it felt like salt to the wound, because he was a coward. a coward that tried to pretend that everything was okay, and that he was fine- that he was doing good, when the love surrounding him died with his other half.

but then, sitting on that couch, he only felt like a fool. a dumb, oblivious, fool, whose heart was aching for the other half of them, who would, and could never come back.

❀

**Author's Note:**

> i miss junmyeon and im waiting for his album :((


End file.
